Three years ago, I weigh 53 kls. from 46 kls to 53. I ate too much and even how much i wanted to eat right and eat properly, it was challenging. It was challenging specially if you are destined to eat with a company most of the time.
I really didnt care how i look like cause i thought someone cares and love (in a romantic way) for me anyway and he would always tell me to just rest instead to go jog or walk at the park after work. so I thought it was okey. Not until the end when i realize most of our common friends would already talk behind his back and tell their concerns about how unhealthy his weight is.
I knew and i was aware of that, well i tried letting him know and encouraging him to watch his weight, he do not care. It is difficult to advice a person who would not listen at all. He would not even listen to his family members and not even me. Not after I realized that the attitude was pulling me down and one night we had an argument i asked him if i could go out at the park and jog and as usual he wouldn’t let me. I took courage told him "if you do not want to feel better about yourself, do not pull me down with you."
And in a different story until thing have gone bad, he’d say, "ang taba taba mo, ang itim itim mo …" it hurts so much that knowing me if im mad i would either just shut up or blabber, i just shut up, blaming him inside me, that i wouldn’t gain so much weight because of him.
His words still lingers in my head until now. After we separated, i tried my best to run and jog the park and not until i was sent to work offshore for almost 7 months. Working till mornings, with daily buffet at the hotel, no need to do chores, late dinners with colleagues and that you go back to your hotel room so tired that what you only have to do is shower and go straight to bed.
I try to go to the gym if i could if we finish work early and swim at the pool. But i know it wasnt enough and too serious, to take off all the toxins i have in my body.
When i went to Australia, it was different since the hotels did not include breakfast in our rates so i do not have my buffet breakfast, instead i buy my own cereal and milk or water and energy bar. From the hotel, i walk approximately 2 kilometer to ride a bus to work. On my way to the bus stop, i often pass by or they pass me by, joggers that jog in the city. I was amazed to see how enthusiastic and conscious they are with their health. At work at the cafeteria, i told myself i guess i am going to get thin here, they just serve healthy sandwiches and salad, chicken or fish.
That was my weekdays for 3 weeks. Came back last March, most of the people i knew that i meet would say i lost some weight (and aside from the comment i got darker.) I was happy to hear those comments. well at last i lost some weight! I do not know how much but yes it seem like i did. I tried to jog around the park 8 laps for at least 4 times a week. for a month and not until i met with Myrick, and told me she saw my ex at the department store, and he seem better and lost some weight. she told me I should look better than him. I thought i was looking better than him.
(well yes, it is still a constant struggle with myself and my insecurities to compete with him as so people would think he is a looser.)
So Myrick’s comments was tatooed on my mind, told myself i need to lok better than him, and for myself i wanted to feel good about myself after a long time.
I wasnt doing much work for the past 3 months and thought of going to the gym where our company is accredited to have free slots for interested employees. I took advantage of that.Went to the gym as long as i am not busy after work. Fifteen mins at the stationary bike, 20 minutes at the treadmill. after which my interest increased i was feeling better i added alternatively badminton for 1 and a half hour at least every Thursdays with my colleagues, which i go to the pool after wards to relax.
I was feeling better as i can see gradual change in my weight from 48 went to 46 in a month. I transferred homes and told myself i should prepare my own lunches to work to save money and change my lifestyle. I tried to eat healthy stuff. 6 times a day. Oatmeal, fruits, low fat, low sugar, wheat-made bread/pasta, little salt little sugar, olive oil, all veggies for lunch, brown rice if i have to, tofu and tuna as a source of my protein. Well i still eat pizza, burgers, and fries, steaks on the weekends.
I was feeling lighter and happier mood with my mood. at the gym i increased my threadmill with to 30 mins. Then i was encouraged to join the fun run sponsored by mandarin health club. I told myself, since i thought of joining marathon before i die, then why dont i start working out on my goal. I tried to train for the run but only in the thread mill. After having a good results on the run, and seeing how much weight i have lost for a month and a half, i decided and told myself i will maintain this lifestyle i chose.
almost 6 times a week i go to the gym swim at the pool and play badminton. added 10 minutes work out on the climber equipment.and arm weight building at home. my weight dropped to 42.4! i got scared. i thought something was wrong with me. I checked on the internet based on the body mass-index and to find out that i am still not underweight. Good to hear, i havent gotten sick lately anyway since i lost weight. yes just reading my previous blog 2 weeks ago, i was told by Ms Elsie the trainer at the gym that i was getting to thin and change my routine. yea i do not have any program at the gym. All my goal was loose weight.
But now since i joined a running club online who are actively participating on local runs and international runs as well, going to the gym for me has a purpose. I will be maintaining my weight and will not go below 42 kilos, and build my endurance, agility and strength i need for running and badminton and the plus of having a feel good body.
Just funny years ago when people would tell you "uy ang taba mo, buntis ka ba?" or uy ang taba mo naman!, they say now, uy ang payat payat mo naman, then say they want my chubby me better. Now i cant understand the contentment of people how they seem to like people based on their shapes. funny isn’t it? Well i will not listen to anyone anymore, because i love how my weight loss went and how i think my lifestyle has been more healthier in food and in being athletic. It support the disposition of being happy as of the moment. Without all the challenges i met while i gained weight, during i gained weight, i sincerely thank these factors as without it i wouldn’t realize how wonderful it is to feel to feel good about yourself.
Others might think its too thin … no i am not. I am still with the BMI and still more than the minimum weight :). I wiegh 43.4 kls now… lets see how it goes when i get some stress at work should i maintain it or not. STill i will try my best to maintain my weight. Ive changed most of my jeans to smaller sizes and some of my blouses. There goes my savings i told myself.
Oh btw, while writing this piece on my way to Cebu, im munching some butter filled pastry, crackers and peanuts. Finishing this article, we went for lunch with our customer to a local carinderia i ordered Cebu dinuguan with chili chopped and hot steamed rice. Yum! I still eat you know 
The old and new me 
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